Quitting

Quitting..... It's what's on my mind today. My pastor, Mark Scott, said about his son going to seminary two states away: "You can't listen to your mind. It's going to change." That rang so true to me. This afternoon I am planning to go to orientation to begin my Master of Divinity degree. I have been wrestling with this for over a year now. Back and forth my mind has gone. 

• I'd love to do it!
• I can't afford to do it!
• I could learn so much!
• There's no way I can go back to school!
• How can I ask my family to sacrifice for me to do this!

Finally, The Lord spoke and said this is My plan for you. Now I have the choice, follow The Lord's plan or not. That decision is not an easy one to follow through on. I have said, and I am sure you have too, if The Lord would just show me I will do it. I thought it would be that simple, easy even. I am realizing it is not simple or easy to follow The Lord's path, even when the trail is blazed. Even though my heart knows the right way, my mind is still changing. Just this morning, I decided with my mind this isn't a good idea, and I could still back out. I could go get a job that would put money in our bank account instead of going to school and taking money out. I would still be able to do all the things my current schedule allows me to do if I don't have classes to worry about. Why add all this stress to my life, when I don't even know what I am going to do with this degree once I get it?

All of these questions lead me round and round in circles. They don't allow forward movement, just self-focus. What I really need is to remember what The Lord said... GO. Not go round and round, not go if you feel like it, but go where I lead you, where I told you to go. So tonight at 5pm I will go to NOBTS Birmingham to get oriented to this way The Lord has set before me. 

Hebrews 10:35-39 (NLT)
35 So do not throw away this confident trust in the Lord. Remember the great reward it brings you! 36 Patient endurance is what you need now, so that you will continue to do God’s will. Then you will receive all that he has promised.

37 “For in just a little while,

the Coming One will come and not delay.

38 And my righteous ones will live by faith.

But I will take no pleasure in anyone who turns away.”

39 But we are not like those who turn away from God to their own destruction. We are the faithful ones, whose souls will be saved.